So, I forgot about this journal thing. I guess now that I've been active on DA for longer I know that a lot of people use it as a message for the people that watch them. I'm kind of doing that... no I'm not. The journal is basically an art journal for me, so if you're interested in my crappy art and how I'm pushing my lazy brain through this, then here you go.

So, I haven been using my tablet for a couple of months...three maybe? It was worth every discounted cent I paid for it. The idea was to buy the tablet, get used to finishing projects, and learn how to finish them, make them look the way I want, and once my brain learned how to do that, go back to traditional media. Well, I did a sketch last night that I'll probably post in scraps, but I was amazed. I did it while on the phone in like 15 minutes, using perspective which I've never really used before, (well, not interesting perspective). I haven't even used it in most of my posted deviations and whoosh, it came out! Mind you, I still need a lot of work, but this to me is a testament that the tablet is doing something to the left side of my brain, something very good... because I'm also drawing straighter than I used to!

What does it all mean? It took me 15 minutes to do this sketch on paper, and would have probably taken me three days on my computer, with the way I work... so! I'm going to save myself the trouble and start sketching on paper and scanning in images!! I'll ink them/complete them in photoshop...but yeah.. this is awesome! The tablet is really useful, though I should actually finish my projects... oops.

So, the point of this entry: tablets rock.

Non-art related, but I felt compelled to write it. More personal than pertinent.

3:13 am. I hear the sound of a shovel scraping the concrete. I live fifteen floors up, but it sounds like it's right next to me. There is a person outside of my room shoveling snow at 3:13 in the morning. What a job to have. I wonder what having a job like that must feel like. To have to work during the night, leaving your family alone at home, having no one to converse with while you work, labor that no one can see you do or tell you that they appreciate, and outside in the biting cold shoveling pathways for strangers, while the snow still falls, before you have the chance to shovel your own.

I wonder what this person's dreams are. I wonder what they were.

Then again, I wonder if this is it. No one dreams of shoveling snow as a child, but what if this person had millions of dreams, and those dreams have been swallowed in his married life, in his family, even though he loves them, how much of himself does he have to sacrifice? Outside at 3:13 in the morning. There is no one there. No one to tell him what he needs to do, where he needs to be, what needs to get done. No one to remind him of what their dreams are, or tell him that his are wrong. All he has to do is shovel snow. He has time to think he has the entire night to think.

This man is outside, not scraping filth, but snow. He lifts something that is pure and untainted, completely smooth, moving it aside to create a pathway. Perhaps that is what he is doing in his mind? Perhaps that is what he is not allowed to do during the day. He works. He paves paths for those who will never know.

3:13am. The world belongs to him, this pristine world covered in snow. His thoughts are his own, no surrounding din to quiet them.

This snow shoveler carries the metaphorical power of God. Maybe it's not such a bad job after all.

I'm not entirely sure how this works or who will read it, but I will just start rambling.

I put up my first deviations roughly a week ago. The first, Love, was an exercise with my new tablet to test responsiveness and coloring. The second, Feels Familiar, was a similar test, but also an attempt at Bleach fanart.

The second picture of the Kuchiki I was proud of at first, because it had more dimension than the first - more layers, more colors, more time. However, looking at it now, the background does not really fit the style of the subjects and I find it to be a mish mosh. What I do notice with all of that coloring and layering, is that the image is heavy. I do not know how to describe it in any other words. The colors carry a deep weight to it, the prevalent tones are deep in and of itself. I wanted to paint an image at sunset, and I did, but when I look at the image I see a sunset on a hot day, with humid heavy air... despite the late fall/early spring implication with the tree.

At this point, I realize I am struggling to find a style, or define many that I may have. Any anime or manga image I create, I would like it to be beautiful, airy, wispy. My first introduction to manga was Sailor Moon and I think some of the lightness of that style has stuck with me... it is also unlike any other stylistically, as is Bleach. I don't like manga with eyes in flat color, or lines strictly drawn. I prefer a sketchy look, but how do I preserve the sketchy look and make it clean at the same time?? This is what I am trying to figure out.

As for coloring, it's good to know that I can do something that is heavy, but for some reason, I feel that the background drowns the characters, pulling them in. It has a certain gravity to it that is not good for the image, as though it is too absorbent (despite the opacity being set to be somewhat see through - which I should change). So, I have to figure out how to either make such a background with weight, and weight the characters just as strongly or stronger, or, make it light like the characters. Make it fit.

I suppose all of that could have been condensed into saying: the colors are too dark for the characters in front, I need to make the characters and the background complement each other and fit together. I like things airy looking.

Why airy? It conveys something that you can't quite grasp, or hold on to. It makes it a little more mythical.

So, that's all for now. I think this journal thing will be useful to track my artistic progression, or lack thereof! It is also why I am posting things on deviant art - in the off chance that I end up making something good, I can watch the progression.